Mail to Heaven 🕊️
A couple of days ago, I saw an information from my class rep. on the class' groupchat informing everyone that one of our colleagues had unfortunately passed away.
Immediately I saw this information, I was confused. Who passed away? How? Why? I didn't recognize the name, you see. Maybe because I am not really close to everyone in my class, and moreover, I gained admission through the Direct Entry mode of admission—I didn't begin with most of my colleagues from their first year and as such, my bond with them has some huge memory gaps.
However, when the picture of the deceased was uploaded, I immediately recognized the face and I felt a sudden wave of sadness and melancholy.
I knew her, but I didn't really know her. She was one of the reserved girls whom I noticed in passing, she minded her business, did her thing respectfully and greeted politely if she happened to walk pass me.
I questioned how I felt about the news. I mean, why did I feel so sad, pained and melancholic about the news? I usually don't feel anything when I see or hear about news of death around me, 80% of my writings are about the subject matter afterall. In every sense, the only people I'd be really bothered about if anything mortal happened to them would be my immediate family members, or so I thought.
What exactly was different about this person? Why'd I feel this way about her passing away? Then it dawned on me that although we never really talked or anything—although I didn't really know her—she was, by virtue of being my colleague, like family to me.
That notwithstanding, I knew I didn't deserve to have raindrops falling from my eyes in her memory, she barely knew me when she was alive and neither did I, but yet that didn't stop the downpour.
That night, I wrote a poem in her memory titled THE INTERMISSION, and I uploaded it to my socials. However, a few minutes later I deleted every trace of it. I felt I didn't deserve to mourn her, not when I never celebrated her when she was alive. Why should I actually talk about her now and post her images as if we were the best of friends? I felt like an impostor to a grieve that wasn't mine to feel. I felt undeserving, but yet, I still grieved.
Funny how there's so much to say, even where there was nothing to be said originally. I'm posting this here to commemorate the day her body was finally laid to rest in the embrace of Mother Earth where all things rise from and equally end up in. As for her spirit? I honestly have no idea where it is at the moment, but if I can make a definite guess, I'd say its with God in Heaven.
Farewell, Peace Akpan 🕊️🤍. Till we meet again.
